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Dir en grey / Kaoru x Toshiya / Sympathy for the devil - Fic_CD_Mix

About Dir en grey / Kaoru x Toshiya / Sympathy for the devil

Previous Entry Dir en grey / Kaoru x Toshiya / Sympathy for the devil Oct. 19th, 2009 @ 10:04 pm Next Entry
Title: Sympathy for the devil
Author: bl4ckm4lice
Fandom: Dir en grey
Claim: Kaoru Niikura x Toshimasa Hara
Prompt: The Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the devil
Word Count: 1578
Rating: FRT
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: na-ah, not mine
Author's Notes: Made for fic_cd_mix challenge.
Link to table: here

An unexpected guest arrived in the God’s hall that day.

Frantic whispers mixed with disgust and fear at the same time. And yet, no angels could ignore the strong presence of the fallen angel.

It’s the Devil himself.

“Lucifer,” God welcomed him, “Or should I call you Kaoru in this era?”

“Cut the crap,” Kaoru snapped, inviting offended angels to step forward. God stopped them with his raised hand.

“You are here for an explanation, I suppose. Although I must say to you there wouldn’t be anything new from what my dear Toshiya have told you.”

“LIES!” Kaoru roared, “Who the heck would go through it on their own accord!?”

“Toshiya would,” God replied calmly, “For you.”


“What do you expect to find here? The explanation is as simple as he told you. I have no grand plan behind all this. He simply requested it and it would be wrong for me to deny love, my biggest blessing for my creations. Could you not believe him?”

“Don’t blame God,” Toshiya cried, “I asked, I insisted for this on my own. He had given me a great blessing by fulfilling my wish.”

“You let him went through that torture! You KNEW what I would do to him!”

God closed his eyes and opened them again, “You are blaming yourself for doing the torture to him.”

Those words made dark fire burst out from all over Kaoru’s body. The angels in the hall reflexively backed away and covered their body with their own wings. The darkness that comes from the Devil reek of countless sins. Filthy. Filled with rage…and regret. Yet no one but God and the Devil recognize the latter.

“You requested for it!?”

Toshiya bit his lip, worried.

“You requested for it yourself!?”

“Don’t hate me… Please don’t hate me…”

“I HURT YOU! You know I would hurt you!”

Toshiya cried, but not of regret. Which in turn brew the guilt and remorse inside the Devil’s cold heart. “I’m the fucking Devil, Toshiya! I raped you, I abandoned you, I KILLED you with my own hands! How could God let you went through that!?”

The memory of the earlier time crawled in the back of his mind. “And yet you let me torture him! You could’ve… You could’ve taken him back!”

God shook his head, “His feelings prevented me to do so.”

“My feelings stopped my Lord from taking me away,” The beautiful man whispered, “My feelings for you.”

“You’re the fucking God! You can do whatever you want!”

“I do not go against the will of my creations,” God responded, his composure stayed, “I treasure them, I warn them against harm, but I don’t control them.”

In desperation, Kaoru roared and roared, throwing angry fireballs everywhere. With a wave of his hand, God stopped them from hurting the angels. At the same time, God signaled for the angels to leave the hall.

It wasn’t until some time had passed before Kaoru finally stopped erupting. He dropped to his knees, breathing hard. “…You watched everything, right?” He asked slowly.

“I know everything that happens in the worlds I create,” God answered, “I know that the first time you met him, it was in St. Petersburg. You were busy trying to kill the czar and his family. But it wasn’t Anastasia that you killed, it was Toshiya. You met him twice when you were busy raising wars around Europe. You recognized him in the first and killed him again. In the second, you thought it was my doing. You thought I was doing tricks on you and raped him because you know I’d know.”

The dark wings of Kaoru slumped down as if they have no strength at all. Kaoru faced down to the floor, his long bangs hiding his expression.

“Yes, Kaoru, when angels becomes human, they gain the same vulnerability, yet they reincarnate. And I know that you tortured him again and again during his numerous lifetimes. You gained pleasure from it, you think you tortured me by killing him. But I also know, that you have finally returned his feelings after centuries of denial.”

“I love you, I love you.” The words flowed repeatedly from Toshiya, arching and gasping under him. Kaoru moved faster, driving further inside the young man. The Devil doesn’t do it gently.

Yet, in the end of their love making, Kaoru whispered back the same words to Toshiya’s ears.

A single drop of a deep dark liquid fell on God’s porcelain floor. It came from Kaoru’s eyes.

“If you still don’t believe that it was his wish, I will show you.” Another wave, and the porcelain floor shows Toshiya and God in the very same hall…


“What is so urgent that you want to speak with me without delay, Toshiya?” God asked, worried about the gloomy look on his angel’s face.

“God,” Toshiya’s voice was cracked, “Forgive me, I have sinned.”

“Whatever happened to make you say that?”

“I… have fallen in love with the Devil.”

God was silent, surprised at this confession coming from his most obedient, sweet angel.

“I know I have wronged your holy order. You have told me to watch over him, to account all the misdeeds he had done,” Toshiya fell to his knees, ready to cry, “Yet I couldn’t help but feel attached to him, attracted to the Devil himself, your very own unfaithful fallen angel.”


“I know this is unforgivable… but I…”

“Are you attracted to the Devil or to his rebellion towards me?”

“Of course I’m not attracted to his rebellion!” Toshiya retorted, his face filled with repulsion, “I despise his acts in so many ways. Yet I…”

“Then I do not see how this is a sin, my child.” God smiled, “Love is my highest blessing to all beings.”

Seeing the merciful smile, Toshiya couldn’t help but let the tears pour down, “But it is the Devil I’ve fallen in love with!”

“And for that I want to cry for you. Dear Toshiya, how could your feelings be returned by him? He despise my blessings, love at the peak of his hate. Toshiya, my poor child…”

“I do not deserve your pity, God…” Toshiya looked down, feeling guilty above all. His wings twitched anxiously.

“Is there something else you want to tell me?”

“I… I know it’s brazen to ask you this after such enormous sin—.” Toshiya stopped when God raised his hand, telling him to say what else was weighing his mind, “I have a request for you, my Lord…”

As Toshiya uttered his deeply thought request, God’s face grew glum. “How could you expect me to approve of your request? You want to go to down to earth? I don’t create you, an angel, to live there.”

“I know it is absurd and shameless, but if I can be a human to stay on earth—.”

All of a sudden, God is right in front of him, caressing his face with utmost care, “No, I can’t possibly let you go through that anguish.”

Toshiya smiled sadly, “I believe it’s one way for me to repent my sin.”

”Punishment is not something for you.” God shook his head, but Toshiya didn’t say anything more. He merely pleaded silently.

“Are you so eager to be by his side? He wouldn’t come up here, so you want to go down,” God sighed, “You know what will be ahead of you? As a human, you will be vulnerable more than ever. And he is merciless.”

“I want to,” The angel’s face was determined, yet his voice shook. He was afraid, but he had to, “I need to.”

“Dear Toshiya,” God kissed his forehead, “So pure and loving. So refined and beautiful. I just wish the Devil wouldn’t disregard your love.”

“I’m prepared for anything he would give me.” Toshiya gave his Lord one last bow.

“Do know that it is not punishment, it is my blessing…”


More dark drops of liquid.

God stood up for the first time since Kaoru arrived and approached the hunching Devil. “Please, Kaoru, return to him.”

“…To what end? I’m still the Devil and he’s no more than a human.”

God stroke Kaoru’s hair. Still soft. “Let him stay beside you.”

Kaoru finally looked up. It had been a very long time since God sees him this close. Still mesmerizing. Lucifer was, after all, his most breathtaking angel.

“He wouldn’t be happy.”

“Being beside the beloved itself creates the highest happiness.”

The Devil shook his head, “My happiness means doom and destruction.”

“Those are your desire. Your happiness… lays with him.”

“Word play has always been your specialty.” Kaoru scoffed.

God merely smiled.

“…A human will die.” And that, was the inmost fear within the fearless Devil. Out in the open. Kaoru didn’t even know why he let that out. Silence hung in the hall. Kaoru stood up and turned around, wings spread and ready. It’s time to leave.

“You will live. Then you will see him again and again.” God’s soothing words never had any effect on the Devil, but Kaoru surprisingly didn’t reject them. “Toshiya had waited for your approval. He had endured everything for you. Now it’s your turn to prove your feelings.”

The dark, spellbinding wings began to flap. The Devil rose from the floor.

“The story of you and Toshiya will never end. That is my blessing for you two.”

Then the Devil was gone, as swift as his appearance.

The end~
Leave a comment
Date:October 19th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
Bagus idenya, Cit.
Tapi panjang ya... *org ber-attention span pendek*
Date:October 19th, 2009 03:28 pm (UTC)
NAH. Coba ras, ini uda gw pangkas habis2an kan... Gimana kalo gw pake niat awal multi chapter...
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Date:October 23rd, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
AU! AU! AU!!!!! ANGELS AND GOD AND THE DEVIL!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M IN LOVE! I'M OUT OF MY MIND!!!! I LOVE THIS STUFF WITH ALL MY CRAZY SELF!!! It makes me think of Dante and the Divine Comedy and the greatness of these creatures that I find it simply sublime and larger than life!

He dropped to his knees, breathing hard. “…You watched everything, right?” He asked slowly.

This part here had a GREAT impact on me. The kind of impact only great tragedies can have. Oh, Kaoru...

The Devil shook his head, “My happiness means doom and destruction.”

“Those are your desire. Your happiness… lays with him.”

I love how you portrayed God all along the whole fic. How he's so wise and full of love and understanding and how he has answers for everything and manages to soften the Devil's heart :)

“…A human will die.” And that, was the inmost fear within the fearless Devil. Out in the open. Kaoru didn’t even know why he let that out. Silence hung in the hall.

Again, this is such a strong part. Seeing the devil miserable, aware of the humongous scale of differences between his position in Hell and Toshiya's position as a human is simply breathtaking. Because we can see that the Devil has his weak points too and because of that you tend to pity him more and have more understanding for him. We can that his answer is a result of a personal torment. LOVED IT!

“The story of you and Toshiya will never end. That is my blessing for you two.”

Date:October 24th, 2009 01:57 am (UTC)
I'm sooooo glad you enjoyed it :D

This fic was what halted me in posting my fics for such a long time. I got stuck, I tried to play around the idea, but it still wouldn't finish. Initially, this was supposed to be multi-chapter (because the song is too rich/awesome to be translated into mere drabble/oneshot). In the end, I decided that it's better to just pour everything I have in mind for now and finish this.

God is, after all, the creator of everything, including Kaoru the Devil. God loves them all, and for God, Kaoru is one of his most beautiful creation (Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer).

The Devil blames himself for not only torturing Toshiya, but to actually made Toshiya into what he is today: a human. No more immortality. Imagine you have to watch the person you love die over and over again, even though you know you will see him again as on his future rebirths. But even God knows that if Toshiya didn't come down there as a human, Kaoru would never return his feelings. Therefore, sacrifice must be made from Toshiya's side. And Kaoru must understand that and make his part of sacrifice by seeing Toshiya die.
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