Fandom: Dir en grey
Claim: Kaoru Niikura x Toshimasa Hara
Prompt: Bjork - Unravel
Word Count: 570
Disclaimer: na-ah, not mine
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by yohaly @ aarin forum. Made for fic_cd_mix. This one is heavily inspired by Ike Reibun’s Kanga na Spoon. Really sweet story :)
Link to table: here
It had only been three days since Kaoru left, and I’m already lying sprawled on the floor, unable to move due to my unbearably high fever. The glass of water I intended to drink is laying sideway a bit out of my reach, the spilled water seeps into the rug. Kaoru would probably get mad since this is his rug. If he ever comes back.
“I’m really sorry, Toshiya. I don’t think I can stay here as a friend anymore.”
Those words escaped Kaoru’s mouth the last morning he had been here. I remember I was gaping, couldn’t bring myself to understand. He was ready to leave, his bags were beside him.
We had been sharing the apartment for two years. I was the one who invaded his personal space when my own apartment got flooded, and then I decided that splitting the rent with him is more convenient than not. Although that means no slacking off on deadlines.
“What…do you mean?”
“I’m in love with you, Toshiya.”
It was all too sudden. My mind refused to work. My eyes, however, couldn’t move away from the serious expression he had.
“Why… Why are you leaving? It’s your apartment in the first place…”
“I’m the one at fault for falling in love with you.”
“But… Kaoru, why are you doing this?”
“Toshiya,” He passed by me to reach the door, “I’m sorry. Please let me clear my head for a while.”
Then he left just like that, leaving the lingering smell of his cigarette and aftershave.
It wasn’t even a day when I realized how much I depend on him. In my current feverish state, my eyes swooped around to see piles of dirty clothes. There are also leftovers of instant noodles and delivery foods. But they’re tasteless, and I kept on missing the food Kaoru makes.
One realization after another began to unravel.
The ‘friends’ title I put in our little bundle of relationship gets undone like a ball of yarn. The ‘band mates’ safety pin broke easily shortly after. Surely ordinary ‘roommates’ couldn’t made me suffer this much.
So what is it?
If it’s in any other situation, I would ask Kaoru. He always has the answers. He’s always there; always ready to be my support. From the very first moment, when I felt left out in the band for no actual reason, he was the first to notice. Until just the day before he left, he still comforted me in little things like making me a mug of hot chocolate, just right for the cold weather.
My mind might feel dizzy, but it’s clear now that I don’t want him as a friend any longer.
When he comes back, we’d have to make new love.
Ah, why is it so hard to breathe? Somehow, I don’t fight the urge to pass out soon. When I wake up, will I feel better?
Will I wake up alone?
…Or will Kaoru come back already?
I wanted to laugh at my own ridiculous hope, but I don’t have any strength left. My vision turned dark bit by bit. But in a split second before I completely lose it, I heard something.
Did someone open the door?
It sounds so far, yet I’m so sure who the owner of the voice is.